TRAVELING ALONE - the möbius mind

It was always clear to me that I wanted to travel alone, but a friend of mine, who has just come home from her big trip, made clear to me why:

"There is no one to define you"

Each person you meet is as much a stranger to you as you are to them. There is no expectation of personality or behaviour. Not even from yourself.

"Knowing" someone also means putting them in their place in terms of their personality. In terms of normality. There is a safety to it. A comfort.
Be honest, how often have you acted a certain way because it was expected of you? And not hated it. Beloved reliability. I am not talking about doing your homework here, altough there is a childlike security about the roles that people give us.
Travelling alone is the opposite sensation of visiting your parents as an adult, where the old triggers still work so well.
Is it not a relief to free ourselves of the prison of personality that other people, and we ourselves have built around us?


I am not saying that we are victims in terms of social behaviour. But how many times have you heard the sentence "That is not like you" when you left the carefully constructed confines of the self somebody else has assigned to you.
And we let them.
Is it not a relief to be able to say this is how I am?
Yes. Probably.
It is wonderful to have somebody know you, but very few people have the patience or attention span to see you change. We want our food to taste like it always tastes and our friends to behave the way they always do. To fill the roles that have been assigned to them, so you can fullfil yours. To follow the rules.
Since I was a child I have been concerned about the rules. Not as much following as finding out what they actually are. There are rules to every game, to every narrative. Consequently there should be rules to life. Right?
Maybe not.
But it would certainly make things easier.
People find their rules in religion, morality, science, art, philosophy, Greenpeace, Vogue. But mainly other people. Or in more common cases "this is the way it has always been".
One of the great dissapointments of my life was finding out that EVERYONE* just makes it up as they go along. Nobody really "knows" anything.
Beyond gravity everything is belief.

But there have to be rules when it comes to personalities, or rather people!
How else would advertising work?
How else could you dislike or like, even love someone?

I guess the only thing I really know about myself is that I have the ability* to question EVERYTHING. Forever caught inbetween the perpetuum mobile problematic of KNOWLEDGE* and BELIEF.
Change is also a constant.
What a horrible platitude.

I´ll make it up as I go along.

*even the people that claim otherwise and that you maybe used to admire and still some cases still do.
*YES, it also annoys me myself, don´t you worry

P.S: I did mention that my overactive mind rears it´s ugly head when I have too much time to think, right?